Holidays

The day after Thanksgiving 2011

Holidays are a wonderful time of year when we get to gather the family. I don't live close to family, so I really look forward to these special times.  My parents and my family have made too many trips to count spending time together at the holidays.  When Mom got to the point that she couldn't travel anymore, it was hard to not have them with us. So we started a new routine/tradition; siblings would celebrate separately and then gather the day after at my parents. This left my parents alone but together.  Last year my dad called and asked, "What are we doing for Thanksgiving?" He really wanted to spend it with us.  Since it was my year to work (duties of a nurse- Thanksgiving was going to be crazy) I said that we would come the day after. I knew he was disappointed to miss the big gathering. I felt like it was important for him to stay and be with Mom. We could have gotten him for several days to visit but it didn't feel right for Mom to be alone on a holiday. We did this at Christmas too, gathering the day after. There have been times throughout the year that we go and get Dad and bring him to our home for several days to a week. My concern was that if he left Mom for long, when he returned she wouldn't know him anymore. We know that this could happen at anytime. But so far, each time, she lights up when he returns. It seems she has no concept of time so we think she doesn't miss him when he's gone. She doesn't know what holidays are anymore. Each day runs into the next and is pretty much the same. 
This year Dad is celebrating Thanksgiving at my house. My sister and her family are coming. Ours kids and grandkids will be here. There will be crowds and chaos and Dad will love it.  
Mom will be alone for Thanksgiving and, although hard, we have let go of the need for Dad to stay with her on holidays . As a caregiver, Dad needs to have a break and live life and enjoy holidays sometimes just like they used to. So I'll drive up on Tuesday. I'll spend some time with Mom, get in a few hugs and bring Dad home with me. My sister will take him back on Sunday. It will be good to have him here.  We'll miss Mom but know she is well cared for and her smile will be waiting for Dad when he gets back. Here's to being thankful for all that God has given us!

Thanksgiving 2012, sending love to Kris in New Zealand