Living with Alzheimer's vs Dying of Alzheimer's

There are many forms of dementia; not all are considered Alzheimer's Disease. Yet Alzheimer's manifests differently in different people. My father's sister has the disease, and we would describe her as living with Alzheimer's. She is stable, happy, compliant and is able, with dedicated, amazing caregivers, to continue to live alone independently. Her short term memory is almost non- existent, but in the moment she is there. She has a great sense of humor and is quite aware that she forgets. She likely won't remember our visits but, again, does very well in the moment. She can retrieve who we are and engage in spontaneous conversation. After a few minutes though, she will forget and repeat the question or statement. She has been in this mode for about eight years.

This summer we took Dad to Maine to see his sister. It was a gift from God, as it was the best visit that we had with her in about six years. She repeated herself only once. She is so pleasant and funny. She was able to start numerous sponstaneous conversations with her brother and her nieces. She asked appropriate questions about other family members. It was a wonderful day.

My mother's disease, however, progressed much more rapidly and she is now in a nursing home. Eight years ago she didn't have any symptoms at all.  We noticed the first symptoms about 5 1/2 years ago, and she has only had the official diagnosis for about three years. Now she only knows our dad. She speaks very little, no longer walks and now has to be put in a lift for transfers. She spends most of her time in bed. When describing our mom, it seems sadly that she is no longer living with Alzheimer's, but dying of it.

Dad with his sister